Sarah is 42 year old mum of two with her own thriving business. Life is busy and Sarah often found herself experiencing periods of overwhelm and anxiety. She put this down to life being busy, juggling the demands of the business and her children. It was when she needed to get a diagnosis for her youngest child, Sarah started to recognise the same symptoms in herself. Here Sarah shares more of her story.
Please tell us about your experience of ADHD – when did you first notice signs?
My daughter was having trouble concentrating at school. She was easily distracted, couldn’t sit down for any length of time and struggled to concentrate on what the teacher was saying. While she was exceptionally bright and had the high energy levels one associates with ADHD, she could daydream a lot, forget things and was very disorganised.
After advice from her school, we started to go through the process of getting her a diagnosis and it was while filling out the forms I realised that I have very similar traits. I hadn’t ever pinpointed this as ADHD before, but then I couldn’t let it go and decided to find out more.
What were the signs you saw in yourself?
When I looked back on my life I have experienced lots of very what I describe excitable moments in the life. Periods of time where I felt like I was getting lots done, having lots of great business ideas and just powering through things very quickly. I love a project but once I start something I can hyper focus and lose track of everything else around me. But then I can quickly change from feeling really excitable to complete overwhelm and anxiety when my head feels really noisy and I can’t concentrate on one thing.
I’m quite an organised person so I was different to my daughter in that respect, but I can procrastinate, find it difficult to get started on something I don’t want to do. I can be an excitable puppy at times, talking too much in social environments but then wearing myself out quickly. I interrupt people quite a lot when I can’t wait to say something. I also didn’t realise it before, but once I started reading more about ADHD I realised that I am often overstimulated by lots of noise and chaos which is another common symptom.
How did you get a diagnosis?
I had always assumed that you wouldn’t be able to get a diagnosis as an adult. I spoke to GP about it while I was seeing her for something else and she told me about the ASRS self-referral form. I completed this, took it back to the GP and from there I was referred for a formal assessment. In the end I was too impatient to wait and paid for a private assessment.
How did you feel about getting a diagnosis?
My family were very cynical about me getting a diagnosis at first as they didn’t want me to be ‘labelled’. I think this is a generational thing. I took some time to really think about whether I should go down this route but I’m so glad I did. From the moment I received the official diagnosis lots of things I had struggled with my whole life started to make much more sense. I don’t think the diagnosis has labelled me, it just helps me understand why I approach things in a certain way and why at times I felt completely overwhelmed.
It’s also taught me that when I have my moments of hyperfocus I should go with the energy burst. And then when I have lower energy moments, I need to ride that wave too. What it shows me is that it’s the way my brain works and it’s okay to lean into those moments more.
I am a perfectionist and in my work I put a lot of pressure on myself to make everything the best it can be. This isn’t a bad thing, I just need to be more attuned to the fact that the increased pressure comes from me, not external forces. Something I am still battling with is how to start things I don’t really want to do. I can spend days sometimes avoiding doing it which then means I am racing to get things done last minute. I’m trying some timer apps to help me manage this more and it is helping.
What have you learnt since getting the diagnosis?
Going through this process at the same time as my daughter has been really interesting. And even though we both have ADHD, the traits we present with it are quite different. Despite this, going through it together has been a saving grace for both of us. When she is struggling to understand her diagnosis, we can talk through those feelings, and I can come at it from a place of experience. We are navigating this journey together and sharing tips and tools along the way.
Since getting the diagnosis I have learnt to be kinder to myself and that’s helped take the pressure off. Life is busy with lots going on but I feel like I can enjoy things much more now as I can spot when I need to take the pressure off myself, because its only coming from me.
What advice would you give other’s that are experiencing similar symptoms?
Everyone’s journey will be different but for me, getting the diagnosis later in life has been a gamechanger. It has helped me understand why I had been feeling a certain way and therefore find ways to better manage those feelings. Being able to understand what my daughter is going through has really helped me to know how to best support her too.
