As a woman with ADHD myself, I really champion the fact that my ADHD gives me the hyperfocus I need at times to really drive my business and personal life. But I also know first-hand how debilitating having ADHD can be at times.
Common traits of ADHD might include feeling unworthy of praise for doing something well. We can be very self-critical and always strive for better. We can be guilty of always trying to people please and we are constantly seeking perfection. We can be our own biggest critics. Connected to this we can also take things personally when things don’t go well as we experience low self-esteem.
Having ADHD can also increase our risk of feeling anxious and suffering from periods of depression. These intense negative emotions can put us into fight-or-flight mode making it difficult to rationalise our emotions. For women with ADHD this can lead to a total shutdown.
Women with ADHD can often feel disorganised or lack real focus with certain tasks.
To help try things like brushing our teeth can feel like a huge effort some mornings and we might procrastinate instead of just getting things done.
Yet, when hyperfocus kicks in, and what we’re doing really interests us, we can submerge ourselves in it for hours, finding it difficult to break out. The ideas just coming and we find it difficult to stop. Because our brains are wired slightly differently to ‘normal’ we can find great ways to approach things and be real problem solvers.
Life is busy and we find ourselves wearing many hats – professionally at work as an employee and a colleague, at home as a partner or parent, being a good daughter, being a good friend. With so many things to juggle life can often feel quite overwhelming for women with ADHD. Here are some of the things I do to help myself stay organised and on top of things:
Schedule reminders, plan and write everything down
Acknowledge the demands you have and break tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Focus on completing one thing at a time to make everything feel less daunting along with prioritising tasks bases on urgency and importance. I utilise time management tools to help keep me on track – use alarms to block out the time for specific tasks. I also use planners to help me keep on top of deadlines, appointments and tasks and stay organised. Visual aids such as post-it notes and whiteboards can help keep reminders in sight.
If you can, delegate tasks you know you won’t want to do – this will avoid hitting paralysis and not getting anything done. Think about what activities are the best use of your time. Try also to establish a structured routine to create some consistency in your day. Having a routine can help reduce decision fatigue.
Look after yourself – physically and mentally
Prioritise self-care. This is really important. It can start with making sure you schedule regular breaks during your day to eat and move around. I know from my own experience that when I’m stuck in a project that I am really enjoying I can easily forget to take breaks to eat and drink. Keep healthy snacks in your bag or on your desk in case. Speak to a nutritionist and see how they could help you.
If you’re working, it’s a good idea to incorporate short breaks into your schedule to avoid burnout and maintain energy. It’s also important to make sure you get sufficient sleep and take mental health breaks. Finally, practice self-compassion. Implement skills and strategies to be kind and understanding to yourself when facing challenges. Remind yourself that you are doing your best and celebrate your achievements. You’re doing a great job.
Recognise your kryptonite behaviours
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, make a list of everything you have to do or think about. Sometimes writing it all down makes things feel a lot more manageable. Next, look through that list and identify the tasks that are your kryptonite. These are the tasks you don’t want to do, those that leave you procrastinating. Can these be given to someone else? Can you get them done and out of the way? At the same time, identify and label behaviors that broaden your productivity and effectiveness. These are your superpower tools.
Too much noise, bright lighting, and clutter can be distracting for women with ADHD. Try to create an environment that is more conducive to the way you like to work.
Get outside and exercise
I’m a huge advocate for getting outside and embracing the great outdoors. Fresh air can make us feel much better and the benefits for our mental health are exponential. Taking 30 minutes out of your day to have a brisk walk can help clear your head and leave you feeling ready to tackle some of those more onerous tasks. It can also help us to see things more clearly and help reduce those feelings of overwhelm as everything becomes more manageable.
With ADHD, feelings of overwhelm can be really intense so it’s important to try and find ways to navigate those feelings. For me, keeping organised and knowing that I have reminders and notes in place help get those tasks out of my head knowing that I have it covered. I feel it’s important to recognise the tasks that leave us feeling productive and energised and focus our energies on those. If there are tasks that are too mundane and don’t give us the dopamine rush we need, try to get them done and out the way or delegate those to someone else.
I know my strengths lie in being able to think creatively and problem solve, these are the tasks I most enjoy and where I can be the very best version of myself. By implementing the systems above, I create a more structured and supportive environment for myself that help me navigate the challenges of ADHD more effectively.
Do also consider talking to a therapist to discuss strategies that help manage the challenges more effectively. Know that you are not alone. There are lots of techniques and tools that can really help.
