Ana is a divorced mum of two from the north of England. She experienced a dark patch of depression when she was separating from her ex-husband but found herself again through the power of exercise. It helped with finding her way out of her darkest days so much that she set her mind on becoming a Personal Trainer. She studied hard and gained the qualifications that she needed, and now is a fully qualified Fitness Coach helping other women to rediscover themselves in the same way that she did. Here, Ana tells her story.
Please tell us about your experience of depression – when did you first notice signs?
When I was going through my divorce I didn’t feel myself at all. I felt very lost, scared and I was trying to work out how to live a new life as a single parent. I had been dependent on my ex-husband for many years, so this was all new to me. I couldn’t work out what I needed to do next and what my future would look like.
One of the other signs was that I wasn’t enjoying time with my children as much. I just couldn’t connect with them as I had done previously.
How did you know you were depressed ?
I didn’t want to socialise; I just wanted to be on my own and nowhere near anybody else. I would often shut myself in my room for long periods of time. Even though it was my choice to get divorced I was feeling upset, lost an very guilty. I was the person that had made the decision, I was responsible, and now I was having to sort it out.
I was trying to process all of the emotions that were coming at me, and my way of dealing with it was trying to deal with it alone. I knew I needed to try and sort my head out, I just felt so lost and sad.
Was there any support available to help you?
My Mum helped me with the children and I am so grateful for that. I really needed the space to work on myself so the support with the kids was a huge help to me.
What actions did you take?
I’m not the sort of person that wants to stay in a negative situation for a long period of time. I knew I had to do something to figure out who I was and what would make me happy again, so I started to work on myself by trying different things, including going to the gym. I started to feel more confident when I went to the gym, it gave me some joy back. It also allowed me to have the space to have difficult conversations with myself and plan for my future.
What were the steps that you needed to take to feel better?
I knew that I needed to carry on going to the gym, it made me feel so much better about myself. I also changed my diet. I took action on actually doing things to better myself and became accountable for my own happiness.
I was very young when I got married and very dependent for many years so I needed to make a lot of changes. I had to work through things and discover who I was again in order to resolve the depression that I felt. I wanted my freedom back but needed to find the correct path for me and my children.
Did you change your lifestyle to resolve and prevent further depression episodes?
Yes, definitely! I started to workout more and fell in love with exercise. I changed my diet considerably and was careful with who I spent time with, I knew needed to be around likeminded positive people that were supportive. I made a plan for the future and started studying to be a Personal trainer.
How do you feel about the future?
I feel really positive about the future. I love my job, it brings me so much joy to be able to support ladies with making them feel better about themselves. I understand what they are going through and I find it so rewarding being able to help them achieve their goals. Exercise can be lifechanging.
What advice would you give other’s that are experiencing depression
I would say go through the emotions that you are feeling but find a way to get all of the negative thoughts out, as I did by going to the gym. Find a hobby, a safe space, somewhere you can think things through and process your thoughts to get back to a positive place again. It can be helpful to speak to a therapist too who can give you tools and techniques to help you cope.
I think it’s important to accept things that are out of your control but bring joy back into your life by having hobbies that can help you relax. It’s also important to plan relaxing family time and have holidays to look forward to!
Now I have been through a phase of depression, I know the triggers and I know what I need to do to stop any bad thoughts progressing. I take action to make sure it never happens again.
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